7/3/09 - Flying Without Wings

Everybody is looking for that something.
One thing that makes it all complete.
You find in the strangest places,
places you never knew it could be.

Some find it in the face of their children.
Some find it in their lovers eyes.
Who can't deny the joy it brings,
when you find that special thing.

Your flying without wings.


I couldn't find the right words to start off tonight's post until I listened to a favorite song I have not heard in years. I have really been at a loss of words lately and it breaks my heart because I so badly want to say something positive, something emotional and something that just touches your heart beyond belief.

And well, thanks to that song...I did.

I realized that Kayleigh's love makes me fly without wings. I am saddened at times to wrap my arms around my chest, missing her warm body, her chubby arms and her stinky farts. I just know that she is up in Heaven, sharing her love with so many up there and it makes me feel so great to know that this precious miracle was my little girl.

I tell myself when I am sad and missing her that Kayleigh helped put smiles on so many faces and she made many people realize how awesome God is and how much He loves us. That makes me so proud that I feel that I am flying without wings.

I look at Kayleigh's photos, I could remember that exact time when I shared that special moment with her. One of my favorites is this one below where I could tell she sees me and reaches for my pinkie as comfort covers her soul as her Daddy is there to take care of her. You can see it in my eyes, you could almost feel it in my heart, but I am flying without wings.



When I get in the car and I listen to a song that reminds me of Kayleigh, I praise God for the time He allowed me to share with Kayleigh. I praise God for the Doctors and Nurses (below photo) who worked diligently to give us those ten and half months with Kayleigh. I praise God so much that my heart is jumping out of my chest and tears nearly roll down my face. I am flying without wings.



When I sat at the pool the other week just after my butterfly post, I had two butterflies land on each one of my big toes. I knew that Kayleigh was making friends in Heaven and she wanted to show off her Daddy. It made me feel so special as they sat there with me for over 20 minutes and if they hopped off for a second, they came right back. I could feel Kayleigh hugging me from Heaven and giving me butterfly kisses. Thinking about that moment...I am flying without wings.

I know that when Aimee is holding Kayleigh, she is feeling this special moment as I do. You can see how much love is shown in this photo and I know in time, you will be seeing this special moment again in Heaven. Every now and then, you will see Aimee close her eyes too and grab her chest. This is what she is feeling...she is flying without wings.



God's greatest gift is love and from the depths of my heart, I can still enjoy my life knowing that Kayleigh will always remain in my heart everywhere I go. No matter what I am doing, all I have to do is close my eyes and remember what her precious body felt like in my arms and I can feel the love shoot through my whole body. A sense beyond anything you can see or smell races through me, my stomach fills with butterflies and like a gravity pull, my cheeks extend outward as a warm smile blasts across my face. I am certainly flying without wings.

God, Thank you for allowing me to fly without wings.

Happy 4th of July everyone. Please be safe and know that we love you ALL!

God Bless,

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